Monday, 15 January 2018

Taking The Time To Throw Candy

I have just finished reading a book called Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. And I can tell you, this book had me in tears so many times. Shauna may as well have been writing my thoughts and feelings.

The older I get, the more I feel that I have wasted so much of my life on what Shauna calls 'hustling' - making sure everything is perfect, working hard as a way to prove my worth, never taking a rest as if you are not working you are just being lazy. It was all about the output, the end result. If I had nothing to show for my time, I wasn't proving my worth. It was like I had to justify the space I was taking up on this earth.

The quote I am including here really opened my eyes. I read this and thought, 'oh my gosh, that is me and it sounds just terrible.'

The candy throwing referred to here comes from a trip Shauna went on, where it was a tradition that every time kayakers from a nearby camp passed by your dock, you threw candy to them. Just because.

'I used to throw candy, right in the middle of it all. I used to throw candy no matter what. I used to be warm and whimsical. I used to believe in the power of silliness and memory-making and laughter.
And then I became the kind of person who threw candy as long as nothing else was going on - as long as it didn't get in the way of being responsible. I threw candy at approved and sanctioned candy-throwing time, after all the work was done and things were safe and lunches were made.
And then I got so wrapped up in being responsible that it was never the right time to throw candy.
And then, the worst thing: I became the kind of person who made fun of candy-throwers . . . please - who has time? What is this, kindergarten? I've got a list, people, and a flight to catch.
What a loss - for me, for my family, for our community, for all the joy and laughter and silliness we missed out on because I was busy being busy.'

I read this passage (and many others in the book) and was horrified. It WAS me! I've become so bogged down in the details, so mired in the belief that only I can do things right and if I didn't do everything it wouldn't get done, that I was missing everything. I had become the party-pooper, the boring voice of reason and fun-squashing.

There was another passage where Shauna talks about self-care and says that she used to think people who took time for 'self-care' were babies and self-indulgent. I have had those same thoughts. When friends have talked about having a massage or going to a day spa, I have thought that's all right for some but I could never do something like that - what a waste of time and money. When I think about the self-righteous thoughts I have had along these lines, I am totally ashamed.

SO, to cut a long story short, I am going to use 2018 to re-train my mind and soul, to learn to throw candy again. I need to remember that God will accept me as I am, as He created me - I don't need to prove myself to Him other than to follow His commandments and to live by His word.

Throwing candy - that is my prayer for this year.

Tuesday, 2 January 2018

I Miss You, Yarn Along!

Last week, I wrote and posted my Yarn Along post as usual. It was titled 'Yarn Along - The One With No Knitting. But I did not know that it would also be the 'One With No Yarn Along!'
I had not seen this post by Ginny, bidding farewell to Yarn Along.

I have loved Yarn Along since it began in 2010. In fact, Yarn Along is directly responsible for my decision to start a blog. I enjoyed the posts so much - and knitting and reading are so much a part of my everyday life - that I wanted to join in too. My first Yarn Along post was in February 2012.

I will so miss seeing everyone's projects (so I can add them to my Ravelry wish list) and reading (so I can add them to my library list!).
I am thinking I may just have to continue Yarning Along on a Wednesday anyway.

What about you, fellow Yarn Alongers? Are you feeling similarly bereft? Or am I just being slightly pathetic and needy?!

Too much, do you think?!

Now, I wrote the above post back last year when Yarn Along was leaving us (sob!) and for some reason, I never posted it.

But imagine my joy when I just clicked on over to Small Things and saw a little heading above the Yarn Along button saying 'Returning January 3rd!'
Can this be true?! Will my beloved Yarn Along be back tomorrow?!

I cannot wait to see if this is really happening!
Better start looking through my knitting projects and seeing what is worth posting.
Am I excited? Just a smidge!!

Happy 2018!

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year! (even though it is a day late!)

And here is hoping that I can get my act together and be here on a slightly more regular basis!

Sunday, 8 October 2017

Some Pretty Flowers

Here I am again, after not being here for months and months! Every time I promise myself I will get a planner and set aside time for everything - never seems to work.
I am currently participating in a declutter challenge. Not physical stuff, but mental clutter to help in being more clear sighted and organised.
Boy, I hope it helps!

So just come quick pretty flower photos, because it is that time of year.
Ranunculas are my top favourite - easy (well, no) care, multiple flowers, and so many gorgeous colours.

And one of my field garden beds, just bursting with ranunculas!

This is the garden bed in the house garden, that I look at while I wash dishes.

The perennials are slowly starting to fill in nicely.

How is your garden growing?

Friday, 11 August 2017

Friday Flower Arrangement

There is not all that much in the garden in winter. Or so I think, until I start wandering around and I collected this little pile.

There is always foliage of some sort, particularly among the native plants.
Proteas are a winter winner and my daffodils have started flowering.
I do have quite a few camellias but I find that they do not last in a vase. The flower heads just drop off within a day or two. Any hints for making them last longer in a vase?

This is what I came up with for this week.

I am eagerly anticipating the first ranunculas - the buds are forming. Tulips are poking through. The poppies are putting on lots of growth. So many flowers are coming; so much colour to look forward to! I cannot wait!